2 Essential Traits That Single Black Professionals Need in Their Relationships

2 Essential Traits That Single Black Professionals Need in Their Relationships

Researchers agree that a happy, healthy, long-lasting relationship boils down to two main traits: kindness and generosity. These two simple things seem to be the consistent factors across all kinds of happy couples. Seriously this research is everywhere- like here and here and here!

So if kindness and generosity make our love last, how do we increase the kindness and generosity in our relationship? In my personal and professional life, I’ve noticed that there is one thing that consistently increases kindness and generosity in relationships:


Nothing inspires us to be kinder, more giving, or more patient with the ones we love than when we focus on how grateful we are for their presence in our lives. I know you’ve heard Oprah and everyone else say how important it is to be grateful. Maybe you’ve started (and stopped) keeping a gratitude journal. Whatever your “gratitude practice” or lack of, trust me when I say that if you can take just 30 seconds daily to think of one thing about your partner that makes your grateful the kindness and generosity will come naturally.
Don’t believe me? Try this imagine you have the last slice of an amazing chocolate cake, or whatever wonderful thing you love, and your partner would like it. Right now, how likely are you on a scale of 1-10 to give it to them happily?

Now for 10 seconds try to mentally list at least 3 things about them or your relationship that you are genuinely grateful for. Now ask yourself again, “how likely on a scale of 1-10 am I to happily give them my last slice of cake (or whatever you love)?” Chances are that that number went up, hopefully considerably but at least a little bit.

When we think about how our partner makes our life better and appreciate it the spirit of generosity and kindness flourish. And bonus- if you tell them how grateful you are for them in your life, you’re already practicing more kindness without even trying!

Esther Boykin, LMFT
CEO, Group Therapy Associates, LLC
Marriage & Family Therapist | Writer
www.estherboykin.com | www.grouptherapyassociates.com


By Esther Boykin | Jun 07, 2015 | Comments 0
About the Author: Esther Boykin
Esther Boykin
Esther Boykin is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Writer, and Relationship Expert. Ultimately, all of her work is about helping people have more loving, honest, and fulfilling relationships. Because the best romances aren’t found in books or movies, they happen in everyday moments between real people just like you. Connect with Esther today to learn how to: * Have better relationships with others or just yourself * Enhance amazing relationships * Be ready for a romantic relationship and plan to make the most of the opportunity when love comes knocking on your door * Whatever is going on in your life, Esther can lend an ear and (if you want it) a little advice.

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