Single Black Professional Online Dating 101: 5 Tips For Attracting the Right Profiles

Single Black Professional Online Dating 101: 5 Tips For Attracting the Right Profiles

Does online dating really work? If you’re asking this question, you’re thinking like many black professionals who have avoided the online dating scene because you don’t think it can help you find the high-quality people who are serious about relationships.

However, if you only think about online dating this way, you’re missing the point. Online dating is just a vehicle. It’s a tool to give you access to lots of other people who are looking for the same thing you want! In fact, it’s now one of the top 5 ways modern professionals meet their partners.

I recommend that my clients include online dating in their dating plan (you do have one, right?) to increase their odds of finding their perfect love match. Just like you need a strategy to meet your goals in your career, your fitness and your finances, you need a blueprint to make online dating work for you.

If you’ve tried online dating before or you’re worried about meeting some crazy person you’d NEVER date in real life, you’ve got to know this: You can’t just put up a profile, sit back, and wait.

Real talk: If you want online dating to work for you, you have to work at it!

Let me share with you 5 secrets I teach my coaching clients. They’ve seen their results go through the roof by just tweaking a few simple things. They went from being ignored and attracting all the wrong people to connecting with the right people in as little as 6 weeks!

  1. Use the right pictures!
  2. Studies show that you have 3 seconds to impress someone who is scanning through all the profile photos online! So I want you to think of your profile as your brand. Would you put up a bathroom selfie on your LinkedIn profile if you wanted to attract recruiters for your next career? Then don’t put them up on your dating profile if you want to attract a high-quality date.

    Your main profile picture should be done by a professional who knows how to use the right lighting, natural poses and a great wardrobe. You should also have a body shot and more relaxed photos of you doing something you’re passionate about.

  3. Smile!
  4. It seems obvious, but most people just don’t smile in their pictures. You’re almost twice as likely to get attention if you just smile!
    Men are the exception to this rule. If you smile too much, studies show that you become less attractive. Think about Idriss Elba. The ladies can’t get enough of him and he doesn’t smile at all. Perfect your intense “come-here-girl” stare and you’ll get more attention.

  5. Go beyond the obvious in your first communication!
  6. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but you need more than a cute picture to attract the right person. Here’s a general rule of thumb: If anyone can say it, then you shouldn’t say it.
    “Hey, you look good. Wanna meet up?” doesn’t make you stand out. It makes the person you’re reaching out to feel spammed. Look for something specific to say about your potential match, ask a question and keep the conversation fun and flirty.

  7. Get offline quickly!
  8. Research shows that the longer you’re online, the least likely you are to actually meet the person you’re interested in. I recommend an actual phone call, no texting before you get together for a date as a way to screen the person you’ve been talking to.

  9. Stay Persistent!
  10. Most people give up too quickly in online dating and decide to cancel their service after a few weeks. Remember online dating is just a tool, but you won’t get any good results if you jump ship too soon! It’s a good idea to refresh your profile every 90 days. Put up new photos, tweak a few categories, and you’ll catch the eye of some new people!


By Aesha Adams_Roberts | May 17, 2015 | Comments 0
About the Author: Aesha Adams_Roberts
Aesha Adams_Roberts
Dr. Aesha is a matchmaker and dating coach for professional African Americans. She is the author of the book, Can I Help A Sister Out? How To Meet And Marry The Man of Your Dreams . She is a happily married mother of two. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter and visit her website for more information.

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